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  Seeing that Mr. Collins appeared to be giving this the thought that it deserved, she let the matter drop and hoped that it might curtail his excessive humility in regards to Lady Catherine without encouraging the air of self-satisfaction that occasionally marked his conversation.

  It seemed to have done some good, for, by the time the parsonage party were shown through the gates into the grandeur of Rosings Park, her brother, having pointed out the truly astonishing number of windows and whispered the cost of a fireplace or two to her, then permitted her to appreciate her surroundings in silence, trusting her to be duly impressed without needing direction from him. Elizabeth was feeling quite in charity with him, therefore, and accepted his escort – with Mary on his other arm – into the gilt-laden sitting room with a smile.

  It was with pride that Mr. Collins formally introduced his wife’s sister, Miss Elizabeth Bennet, to the ladies of Rosings. There was nothing to embarrass him in her manners or her birth. Lady Catherine was not, he had realised, so far above them in rank that she might disdain a connection to the Bennets of Longbourn.

  Indeed, it was clear that Lady Catherine was inclined to be gracious to their pretty guest. Mr. Collins, having heeded her advice and chosen a bride from his cousins (a practice she very much approved of), was in favour with her Ladyship. If she had raised her eyebrows when he had written that it was the middle daughter, Miss Mary Bennet, that he intended to wed, all was quite forgiven when he had explained that the lady in question had quite lost her heart to him.

  Lady Catherine, Elizabeth discovered, was very used to getting her own way – it was clear in her manner of address to both Mr. Collins and his wife, and also in the way she monopolized the conversation at dinner. Inclined to be amused rather than offended, Elizabeth answered even her Ladyship’s more impertinent questions with graciousness, if only for Mary’s sake, and by the time they had sat down to cards later in the evening, Lady Catherine was quite of the mind that her parson’s family must be decidedly genteel. Her mind naturally leapt from this to the conclusion that it had been Mr. Collins’s sense of modesty that described the Longbourn estate as merely small. When invited to play, Miss Bennet demurred most acceptably, but when pressed had acquitted herself well. She concluded that Miss Bennet, while clearly not of the same exalted rank as Miss de Bourgh, ought to be encouraged into conversation with that same lady.

  It had taken considerable effort on Elizabeth’s part to engage Miss de Bourgh in any kind of conversation at first. Miss de Bourgh did not play, neither did she particularly like to read. No, Miss de Bourgh was not at all fond of music, but she did, apparently, find great interest in being ill. Had Miss Bennet ever been afflicted with megrims? Upon finding out that her sympathetic companion had not, Miss de Bourgh proceeded to enjoy the conversation prodigiously. Elizabeth was subjected, in great detail, to the list of Unfortunate Ailments that so plagued that lady. She was to be congratulated, it seemed, upon having the delightfully robust constitution that so characterised the lower classes – oh no, Miss Bennet must not be offended, indeed it was a true blessing for her – but Miss Bennet could not possibly understand what it was to be delicate.

  Miss Bennet understood very clearly three things. Firstly, Miss de Bourgh was as capable of dominating a conversation as her mother – her lineage was very evident; secondly, Miss de Bourgh was not in the least interested in hearing suggestions or even talk of any cures for her ailments that might rob her of any distinction; and thirdly, such tedious conversation must be borne with since every other occupant of the room was quite delighted with Elizabeth for managing to draw Miss de Bourgh out.

  Elizabeth wondered if she could successfully petition her father in her next letter to command her return home with expediency.

  The very clear success that Elizabeth had with Miss de Bourgh pleased Mr. Collins immensely – Lady Catherine herself had remarked that good manners and breeding were clearly to be seen in his new sister and that her advice to him to marry into that family had been excellent. Lady Catherine was pleased, Mr. Collins was pleased, Mary was pleased, and Elizabeth was pleased when the carriage was called for their return home.

  One morning, over a fortnight after Elizabeth had first come into Kent, she was astonished, upon returning from a walk to the village, to find Mr. Collins walking very swiftly to meet her, hand on hat to prevent it from flying off in his haste. In any other man, this would have not been so surprising, but Elizabeth had established very early on in her visit that Mr. Collins was about as fond of strenuous exercise as Mary was, which was to say – not at all.

  She hastened her own step.

  “Brother! Is aught amiss? Has the pig escaped its confines again?”

  She waited for Mr. Collins to regain his breath as he turned with her towards the house. “No, dear sister, that calamity has not befallen us since we undertook Lady Catherine’s suggestions for improvement to the sty. I came to bid you return quickly for Mr. Darcy has arrived for his annual visit to Rosings, and with him he brings Colonel Fitzwilliam, who is, I believe, the youngest of the sons of the Earl of Matlock, and even now, Elizabeth, they are awaiting us at the parsonage. Come!”

  Lizzy did not have any particular desire to meet with Mr. Darcy again. She had not at all liked him in Hertfordshire and therefore did not consider that she would like him that much more in Kent. He was, however, as Mr. Collins explained, Lady Catherine’s favourite nephew and by all accounts his opinions had a great influence over hers, so he must be greeted, and greeted with great politeness, said her brother firmly.

  Elizabeth had turned to him at this, quite surprised. Seeing her quizzical expression, he said, “My dearest Mary has told me of your opinions of that gentleman and that he quite insulted you at your first meeting – believe me, sister, I know all, but you must refrain from laughing at him as Mary says you did at home. In your father’s house, how you conduct yourself is quite his business, but in mine, where Lady Catherine’s favour is greatly to be wished for, you must display that excellence of deportment that I know you possess.”

  He spoke kindly, but Elizabeth was offended and wished heartily that she could deliver Mr. Collins a very well worded setdown for daring to criticize her manners. Seeing clearly, however, that much damage could be done should she do so, she nodded tersely and set a rather more rapid pace to the house than her sweating brother could have wished for.

  It was as the maid assisted her in taking off her outer garments and she stepped upstairs to swiftly change into her indoor slippers that Elizabeth was able to dispel her anger and to think rationally. If Mary’s comfort depended on her husband, and Mr. Collins desired the continued good opinion of Lady Catherine, who in her turn was directed by her nephew – then for the sake of her sister she must comply with Mr. Collins’s request. Perhaps her brother was not so great a fool as she had thought him.

  Such a thought could not help but make her smile as she presented herself in Mary’s parlour. At the sight of her, the two gentlemen rose and bowed – a courtesy which she returned in her own fashion. She took the opportunity to catch her brother’s eye and smile slightly, lest he be in anxiety that she might disgrace him. He was visibly relieved and permitted Mr. Darcy to gravely present his cousin, Colonel Fitzwilliam, to the ladies of his household.

  The colonel was not a handsome man but he had a great pleasantness about him that made engaging him in conversation not at all arduous. Elizabeth found very quickly that his rather plain features were softened by his affability of manner. He, quite struck by Mrs. Collins’s pretty sister and quite burningly curious about any young woman of whom both his aunt and his cousin approved, exerted himself to please.

  It was a surprisingly lively quarter of an hour that they spent. Elizabeth, responding to the colonel's charm, became quite spirited and demanded of him his opinions on the best walks to be had in the area.

  “For I have been here nearly three weeks, Colonel Fitzwilliam, and have had to discover for myself the all best haunts. You know, my brother and sister are not at all fond of walking so I quite depend on your advice!”

  The colonel was entirely ready to give it, and even went so far as to embellish his directions with any connected anecdotal tales he remembered being told as a lad.

  He was deeply engaged in telling Miss Elizabeth of a delightful walk that might take her to the ruins of the original abbey that had been burnt down a hundred or so years ago before Rosings Park was built to replace it when Mr. Darcy stood and walked over to them. He had limited his conversation with her to the barest of civil necessities early in the visit and instead punctiliously congratulated Mrs. Collins on her recent marriage.

  The colonel broke off and looked inquiringly at his cousin, “I say, Darcy, is it time to leave already? I do not believe I have ever paid a call that flew by so fast.”

  Mr. Darcy shook his head, “Not yet, Fitzwilliam.” Then, addressing Elizabeth, he quietly asked her if she would accompany his cousin Miss de Bourgh out in her little phaeton one morning if the weather was deemed fine enough. “Lady Catherine bade me encourage you to accept, for my cousin is not much in the way of seeing other gentlewomen and would undoubtedly value your company.”

  Astonished, and much very disinclined, Elizabeth paused momentarily before speaking, hoping that there could be some way of avoiding the engagement. Alas, she could not conjure any plausible excuse and, as all of the other occupants of the room were waiting for her answer, she was forced to respond positively. “Thank you, sir. I should be quite willing to ride out with your cousin.” This being as enthusiastic as she could manage without actively telling a falsehood, Elizabeth was relieved when the colonel suggested that the ladies drive up as far as the old abbey, for it enabled her to show some real interest in the excursion.


  Mr. Darcy, ever determined to be disagreeable, said that he thought it would not do, “for the road is not at all suitable for a lady to navigate and Anne dislikes anything akin to adventure – should the ladies run into difficulty, the footman would have to leave them quite alone. Miss Bennet, I daresay, would prefer to walk.” He said this last with a slight curling of his lips and Elizabeth read contempt in his faint smile. She was prevented from responding by Mr. Darcy’s turning to Mr. Collins and assuring him, lest he be unduly alarmed, that the footman who would be accompanying the ladies was a faithful retainer who had been serving the de Bourgh family for quite some time.

  Mr. Collins bowed in gratitude and instantly forgot that such a thought as escort had not even entered his head. “Oh certainly, Mr. Darcy, yes, yes indeed sir. A most fitting choice of a servant to protect Miss de Bourgh, I am sure.”

  It was then that Colonel Fitzwilliam, who clearly had little notion of when to keep quiet, said reproachfully, “I am sure that you shall be glad to know that Miss Bennet will be safe too, Mr. Collins.”

  Mr. Collins, it appeared, had not considered the matter. He asked Mr. Darcy (to Elizabeth’s disgust) if he thought it necessary that his young sister should not venture out without a male escort.

  Lizzy deemed it necessary to intervene. “‘Tis very good of you, brother, to think of me, but I assure you my father has never curtailed my walks at home and I must cheerfully bow to his authority in this.”

  Mr. Darcy frowned and addressed her brother. “I should not permit my sister to wander about unattended.”

  This, it seemed, was quite enough for Mr. Collins to categorically forbid his sister from stepping out beyond the garden without company. Elizabeth, irritated beyond measure with Mr. Darcy but regrouping admirably, replied archly that a Miss Bennet was quite a different kind of female to a Miss de Bourgh or a Miss Darcy “and indeed,” she added with shameless flattery, “Miss de Bourgh herself paid me the compliment of noticing my robustness. I am sure that Mr. Collins is capable of judging for himself how to care for those of us in his care – after all, he does so with Mrs. Collins quite splendidly, does he not?”

  Deeply appreciative, Mr. Darcy blandly suggested that Lady Catherine’s advice be sought on the matter.

  Elizabeth closed her eyes in temporary defeat.

  Chapter Five

  When both the weather and Miss de Bourgh's health permitted the drive, Miss de Bourgh, swathed in shawls, arrived outside the parsonage shortly after the breakfast things had been cleared away by the maid. The lady was clearly disposed to talk and after Elizabeth asked in the most general terms after Miss de Bourgh's wellbeing, she was subjected to an uninterrupted dialogue on the very latest symptoms she had suffered only two nights previously.

  They headed toward the village of Hunsford, Miss de Bourgh assuming that Miss Elizabeth would very much wish to be seen in her company. Elizabeth, swallowing her affront, replied cheerfully, “Certainly, Miss de Bourgh, I do not have the least objection to driving through – it is a very fine town. I beg that you would not underrate yourself, however, for your company is quite its own reward.” Not a trace of sarcasm was to be detected in Elizabeth’s tone and the gentlewoman beside her had her eyes on the road ahead. Pleased by her response, Miss de Bourgh, who was not in general guilty of an excess of humility, nodded and forbore to insult Miss Elizabeth's character any further that morning.

  They did not venture away from the wider thoroughfares, Miss de Bourgh resentfully informing her that Mr. Darcy had told her that she ought to keep to the main roads. Elizabeth took enjoyment wheresoever she might find it, and, due to her cheerful disposition, was appreciative of the views from the height of her seat. There was some advantage to being able to see above the hedgerows, she supposed.

  By the time the full hour had ended and the ladies had drawn up outside Rosings, Elizabeth felt queasy in her stomach both from the driving and the conversation. Miss de Bourgh was met outside the house by Mrs. Jenkinson and bade Elizabeth a civil farewell that might almost be thought of as warm, before quite rudely deserting her upon being ushered in by her companion. Mrs. Jenkinson met Miss de Bourgh outside the house and anxiously ushered her in, leaving time only for an almost warm farewell from the suffering lady to her long-suffering audience. The groom had handed the reins over to a waiting stable boy and Lizzy took the opportunity of requesting his escort to return to the parsonage.

  She was overheard by Colonel Fitzwilliam, who, having seen the phaeton return, had come to bid the lovely Miss Bennet a good morning. He noted that she was looking somewhat paler than previously and offered her his arm to the parsonage, asking her gently if she would be willing to accept him in place of a servant.

  Lizzy was very glad of his offer and they commenced the short stretch back along the main drive of Rosings.

  “Did you enjoy your morning, Miss Bennet? I daresay you did – I find Kent a very pretty country in general, myself.”

  “Oh! We went through the village and looped back through the countryside surrounding it. We did not go much further than I have already explored, but I did enjoy the views.”

  “And what did you think of my cousin's phaeton? It was designed especially for her, I understand; Lady Catherine insisted that Darcy select the horses himself. I believe driving is one of Anne’s favourite activities. She is unable, you know, to exert herself very regularly.”

  “I think both the horses and the equipage very handsome, Colonel. Although…” and here she broke off with great artistry.

  “What is it?”

  “I would not in the least wish to criticise Mr. Darcy’s ability to pick a horse; I am no horsewoman myself, you know, but it seemed to me as though one horse was rather faster than the other. Miss de Bourgh had constantly to be adjusting our speed to compensate, with great skill, I might add. Perhaps Mr. Darcy might like to drive with Miss de Bourgh one morning and see what might need adjusting. Doubtless, it is something minor, such as a strap that has been set too loose by a groom or some such thing.”

  Colonel Fitzwilliam, who was considered to be something of an expert in horseflesh by his friends, was extremely amused by such ignorance but far too much a gentleman to show it. He said with an unsteady voice that he would certainly suggest that Darcy do so. Privately, he thought that he might tease his cousin at length about his shoddy judgment of cattle, and had to turn away momentarily to conceal his grin.

  Elizabeth, satisfied that she had engaged Mr. Darcy to suffer as unsettling an hour as she had just endured, smoothly changed the subject to that of the colonel’s travels. He was very used to speaking with single young ladies who were far more interested in Mr. Darcy than in him – rarely if ever did they evince any interest in his own life unless it was concerned with his relationship to the master of Pemberley, so he found her attention especially flattering.

  He told her one or two of the more amusing stories from his active service, heavily edited of course, and found his estimation of Miss Bennet’s mind restored by the general intelligence of her conversation. By the time he delivered her back safely into her sister’s home, they were equally pleased with each other and they parted on the most cordial of terms – in a fair way to becoming fast friends.

  The inmates of the parsonage were bidden to dine at Rosings Park the next evening. Mr. Collins, thrown into transports of delight, had burst into the house with the invitation. “You must not, dear sister, feel at all uneasy about needing to wear the same dress twice – you cannot have anticipated such graciousness in being invited so many times to dine at her Ladyship’s table.”

  Lizzy laughed lightly. “Oh, not at all, brother. I quite believed you, you know, when you spoke of such things at Longbourn and so I made sure I should not be taken by surprise should such an invitation occur more than once. Should her Ladyship invite us many more times, though, I fear she may see a repeat of my most favourite gown. Mary, my dear, might I beg your assistance with my hair for the Event?”

  Almost as soon as they entered the salon in which Lady Catherine received them, they were greeted with the news that Miss de Bourgh was not at all feeling the thing that evening and so the party would be deprived of her company. Mr. Collins lamented at length at such ill tidings, Mary occasionally added a remark in support, and Elizabeth managed to look disappointed at their depleted number.